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And if he sees his shadow, there are six more weeks of winter!" Read MoreĪ shipwreck occurred, only Scarlett Johansson and some random dude survived on an deserted island. "I'm not finished yet! Every year the stone of his tomb is rolled away, and Jesus comes out. Peter is astounded, as she is clearly very knowledgeable despite being blonde, and while she's giving this lecture, he takes out the golden key from his angel toga, and he puts the key in the lock, he turns the key– She goes on like this for several minutes, quoting chapter and verse, analyzing the pagan influences on the modern holiday, everything you could possibly want to know about Easter. You see, after Jesus was crucified, he was laid in his tomb and a stone was placed across the entrance, but three days later Mary Magdalene came to anoint his body for burial, and lo, the stone had been rolled away and the tomb was empty, and an angel told her-" The third blonde says, "Easter is an important holiday in the Christian faith. The second blonde says, "Well, it's one of the most important holidays in the faith, and we celebrate when Jesus came, and Santa Claus comes and gives us presents!"Īnd of course, she's also wrong, so boom! She's in Purgatory. Of course, she's wrong, so boom! She's in Purgatory.
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The first blonde says, "Uh, it's a holiday where we spend time with our families, and we eat turkey, and we celebrate when the pilgrims came over!"